Omegle chats

[Kayar]

Very well done, though I've never heard of a "shrunken" before, I believe you meant shuriken?

[Pielogist]

Very well done, though I've never heard of a "shrunken" before, I believe you meant shuriken?

lol yea. thanks o great grammar nazi

[tokage]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Zombie or no?
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: i'm not a zombie
Stranger: sorry
You: Good
Stranger: hahaha
You: They're everywhere
You: One just ate my cat
Stranger: i dont think they would have the metal capacity to type
Stranger: or use a computer
You: You never know
Stranger: hahaha i guess
You: Well, Im just glad that Im on this boat
Stranger: haha ok
Stranger: your on a laptop or somehting
Stranger: *something
You: Naw. I have a desktop on my raft.
You: And Wi-Fi
Stranger: hahahaha
You: As long as this shitstorm goes, I want to be able to go on omegle
Stranger: if your on a boat why are you here then?
Stranger: haha ok
Stranger: where r u from?
You: Washington
You: DQ
Stranger: ok
You: I lived in the Washington DQ for a while
Stranger: isnt it DC
You: but Eventually I moved up to Sonics
You: Better Service
Stranger: what?
You: Dairy Queen is where I used to live
Stranger: LOL
You: DQ.
You: Duhrr
Stranger: i'm not american
You: Oh
You: So your not fat
Stranger: and we dont have dairy queen
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: never
You: Good
Stranger: r u fat
You: Every day I wake up to waddling feet
You: It's Creepy
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: so r u fat
You: A little on the chubby side
You: But the Zombies trimmed me down
Stranger: hahaha no more dairy queen for you then
You: Was painful
Stranger: haha
You: But Im fine
Stranger: free lipo i guess
You: Yeah.
You: But no Anesthesia
Stranger: yeah thats a bummer
You: Or however you spell that
Stranger: but if the zombies trimmed you down you would be dead
Stranger: either loss of blood or infection
Stranger: then...
You: Not if you amputate fast enough
Stranger: YOU MUST BE A ZOMBIE!!!!
You: OSHIT
Stranger: well you cant get me here
You: YOU MAY BE RIGHT
You: I HOPE IM NOT A ZOMBIE
Stranger: haha
You: THAT WOULD SUCK
Stranger: yeah they bit you so dont you turn into one or something
Stranger: like now your infected
You: Should I check my vitals or something?
Stranger: well if you have an urge to eat someone then you know your a zombie
Stranger: do you feel like red meat?
You: Right now I have an urge to eat anything because Ive been starving on a raft for a week and a half
You: Wait... Raft... Week and a half...
Stranger: well if i happend a week and a half ago
You: RHYMES!
Stranger: and didnt turn into one
Stranger: then your fine i guess
You: But how do you know if you turn into one? D:
Stranger: your using a computer
You: Oh yeah
Stranger: hahaha
You: Hey... HEY!
You: LAND!
Stranger: yeah
You: HELL YES!
Stranger: hahaha
You: Land! Finally!
Stranger: do you know where you are
You: Sweet sweet land!
Stranger: hahaha
You: Wait... ZOMBIES
You: SHIT
Stranger: haha back to the rft
You: THEY'VE GOT ME
Stranger: *raft
Stranger: awwww
You: tell my wife... that dress made her look fat...
Stranger: eat then before they eat you
You: Ow...
Stranger: hahaha
You: Blurgh
Stranger: is that your last words
You have disconnected.

[Kayar]

"Zombies wouldn't have the metal capacity to use a computer." That one's going down in the books for most stupid statements ever made by a human being.

[Sugarlumps]

"Zombies wouldn't have the metal capacity to use a computer." That one's going down in the books for most stupid statements ever made by a human being.

Lol METAL capacity.
Plus, my cousin and I got in the same room O_o when we pressed the "new" button at the same time.

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HOLY SHIT
You: A DINOSAUR!
You: RAWR!
You: HOLY FUCK IT ATE ME!
You: NOM NOM NOM
Stranger: so are you ok?
You: I WAS EATED!
You: ALIVE!
Stranger: rock?
You: WELL NOW I'M INSIDE IT'S STOMACH!
You: THANKS FOR HELPING ME OUT YOU DOLT
You: BUT NOW I'M STUCK INSIDE
Stranger: i can't help you
You: WITH NOTHING TO EAT BUT THE SLIMEY JUICES THAT ARE AROUND ITS STOMACHE
Stranger: bye
You: THATS RIGHT
You: LEAVE
You: ME HERE ALL ALONE
You: INSIDE IT'S STOMACHE
Stranger: are you sure?
You: I'LL JUST STAY HERE
You: LICKING IT'S INTESTINES AS A SOURCE OF FOOD
You: HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
You: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT
Stranger: oh i don't knoe what you mean
Stranger: but hope you everything goes well
You: SO I'M GOING TO GO. IT'S YOUR FAULT I WAS EATEN ALIVE
You: HOPE YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT
You: KNOWING YOU KILLED SOMEONE BY NOT HELPING THEM OUT OF A DINOSAURS STOMACH
Stranger: crazy man :)
You: HERK
You: BLARGHHH
You have disconnected.

NOW TO turn off caps

"Zombies wouldn't have the metal capacity to use a computer." That one's going down in the books for most stupid statements ever made by a human being.

Lol METAL capacity.
Plus, my cousin and I got in the same room O_o when we pressed the "new" button at the same time.

is that code for incest?

[Pielogist]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Male and horny
You: male and not homosexual.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sugarlumps]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: heyy
You: wasup
You: late yesterday
You: so a bit tired
Stranger: okay :) im ok
Stranger: where u are?
You: home
You: where else can I be?
Stranger: I meant your country?
You: Ah
You: I stay in.
You: I stay in...
You: I stay in......
Stranger: lol
Stranger: what
You: oh dear I do have seem to have forgotten which country I'm in
Stranger: haha
You: perhaps you can help me regain my memory?
Stranger: ofc
Stranger: :D
Stranger: where u were yeasterday night??
You: Home
You: its very fuzzy
Stranger: really
Stranger: u speak english on your motherlanguage?
You: No
You: I dont think so
Stranger: hmmh
You: but who are you again? I seemed to have forgotten
You: who am I?
You: whats this white thing in front of me
You: Oh
You: thats just my comp
Stranger: you are a little weird guy :D
Stranger: is anybody home in your head?
Stranger: :)
You: Hmm
You: let me check
Stranger: okay
You: No, im afraid not
Stranger: I think no
Stranger: ok
Stranger: so sad
Stranger: you drank ?
Stranger: drunk
You: yes i drank water 5 minutes ago
You: no i am not drunk
Stranger: Im sure that you are
Stranger: perhaps
You: Perhaps
You: not
Stranger: why you are so out then?
Stranger: =))
You: im not too sure myself
Stranger: oh
Stranger: bye now. have a nice life
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Kayar]

I speak English in my mother language.

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hello?anybody's there?
You: yes!
You: i am here
You: but i am there
You: i am everything
You: you shall know me as a god
You: and i will rule among you for 7 years
You: bow before my awesomeness
You: BOW! NOW!
You: before i use my wrath upon thee
Stranger: haha,funny??
Stranger: i thnik no,
You: NO! BOW NOW!
Stranger: pale lu sedeng
You: Thats Not BOWING!
Stranger: wht is BOWING????
You: I STRIKE YOU WITH LIGHTNING!
You: YOU ARE STRUCK
Stranger: whatever!!!!
Stranger: belekok
Stranger: are you autism?
You: WHAT IS THIS BELEKOK? IT ANGERS YOUR GOD
You: ANSWER OR I SHALL DESTROY THEE WITH ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING!
You: FINE THENQ
You: YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK BY ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING!
You: YOU ARE NOW WEAK
Stranger: you suck!!
You: THIS COMMENT ANGERS YOUR GOD!
You: ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING ERUPTS FROM THE SKY HITTING YOU WITH MAXIMUM FORCE
Stranger: if you god you're god that very very stupid god!!!
Stranger: bego!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: NO!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

W-I-N

[G[v]N]

No, not really.

Just a fail language barrier.

[Smythe]

No, not really.

Just a fail language barrier.

Eh i had fun.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Sir, your shoes are untied.
Stranger: can u be my friend plz
You: I only befriend those with tied shoes.
You: sir.
Stranger: i have
Stranger: asl
You: Are you certain?
Stranger: no
You: That your shoes are indeed tied?
You: well then tie them damnit
Stranger: aha
Stranger: lol
Stranger: asl
You: Why should I tell a non-friend?
You: If you give me some money...
You: maybe...
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: how much do u need to tell me
Stranger: ?
You: Watch out, I'll report you to the FBI!
You: See, now they give you a warning
You: and I laugh about it
Stranger: hahahaha
You: because I'm not actually serious
Stranger: funny
You: Then again, stabbing you in the face would be fun.
You: I am completely serious.
Stranger: thats good funny boy
You: Indeed it is.
Stranger: how old r u ?
Stranger: u looks very young
Stranger: is that right
You: You can't see me, so "looks" does not apply.
Stranger: lol
You: I "looks" like I am better than you.
You: At everything.
You: Including space baseball mining with a toothpick on mars.
You: Twice.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: where ever
Stranger: i have to go young boy
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I have kidnapped your entire family and am holding them for ransom.
Stranger: asl?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: ihave a question
You: Can you help me get this staple out of my penis?
Stranger: .... probably not
Stranger: seeing as how
You: Damn.
Stranger: im on a computer
Stranger: OKAY but
Stranger: listen
You: Yes?
Stranger: okay, where do you live
You: Far away.
Stranger: ..... canada?
You: Far, FAAAAR away.
You: No.
Stranger: ohio
You: No.
Stranger: omfg whatever what are the child porn laws there
Stranger: under 18?
You: Why, you want to give me child porn?
Stranger: if my ex boyfriend has naked pictures of me
You: You do realize I have a staple in my penis.
You: It's quite painful.
Stranger: from when i was 16 and he was 10 now im 17 and hes 20 shouldi call the cops and how the hell did you get that in thre
Stranger: i mean he was 19* lol
You: I was going to say...
Stranger: hahahah
You: Well, depends on what he plans on doing with them?
You: Probably you should.
Stranger: he w ont delete them, and hes been showing people and i think posting them
You: That sucks.
Stranger: yeah dude
Stranger: :(
Stranger: i hate him
You: I'd say get them to arrest his ass.
Stranger: i hope they do...
Stranger: he has a bunch of anal porn plastured on there too
You: Well, good luck.
Stranger: thanks g2g
Stranger: byee
You: c ya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: how are you doing?
You: Better than you.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, i'm a horny male that will jack off on webcam.
You: Yeah, have fun with that.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heey asl?
You: Are you a walrus?
You: I really want a walrus.
You: That would just make my day.
You: Could I have one of your tusks?
You: That would make my many days!
You: Fuck...
You: I knew it..
You: You aren't a walrus!
You: You're a hamburger!
You: Damnit!
You: Your kind is going to take over the world!
Stranger: IM A HOTDOG DUUH
You: Shit.
You: Shit shit shit this is even worse.
You: I must escape!
You: To the walrus cave!
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Jimmy!
You: Hey, Jimmy my friend!
Stranger: shergil
You: How's it going?
You: Yeah, sure, whatever.
You: Look, I have this lump...
You: It's on my penis.
You: Do you think it's a problem?
You: Bernard?
You: Hello?
Stranger: some more fucking things u have to write
You: Uh, sure, whatever you say Percy.
Stranger: so write
You: I write plenty.
You: More than you perhaps.
Stranger: i m f
You: You seem to be slipping in your old age, Virgil.
Stranger: r u m
You: I am whatever I want to be James!
You: You know, Jimmy... There are many things you could do with your time.
Stranger: njcjjjdjsajn
You: And your mind.
You: No, that is not one of them.
Stranger: jjjkjjidsjhihdw
Stranger: nbjnjlkkkld
You: Farewell, Shergil!
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: r u horney i am
You: Nope.
You have disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey! Just to make this easier..please choose one of the following…
a)	Male who wants to talk to a male
b)	Male who wants to talk to a female
c)	Male who wants to talk to anyone 
d)	Male (horny) who wants to talk to a girl
e)	Male (horny) who wants to talk to a guy
f)	Female who wants to talk to a male
g)	Female who wants to talk to a female
h)	Female who wants to talk to anyone 
i)	Female (horny) who wants to talk to a girl
j)	Female (horny) who wants to talk to a guy
You: Yeah. Can I choose none?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: I want you to go to the nearest drug store and purchase as much tylenol as you have the money for.
You: It's for a good cause.
You: My plan is this:
You: You take all of it at once.
You: Then you die.
You: We get to find out what the afterlife is like.
You: Deal?
Stranger: Well, I get to find out what the afterlife is like
You: Yes, we do.
Stranger: But I can haunt you from hell if ya want
You: If there is a hell.
You: We don't know yet.
Stranger: Plus, you see, now that Tylenol is made in that new chocolate flavor, its terribly hard o find
You: Well, find it then.
Stranger: Perhaps we can substitute Advil
You: Possibly.
You: Or a cliff.
You: That would work equally well.
Stranger: Maybe a wild pig. That'd be fun.
You: If you can either A. Eat the whole thing or B. Get eaten by it.
Stranger: Mmm... B sounds much more fun.
Stranger: I'll coat myself in pig bait.
You: Well, wonderful.
You: Just leave me all your credit card information when you're ready.
Stranger: Okay, I will do that. :) Goodbye.
You have disconnected.

[G[v]N]

My god Kayar give me some of that imagination!