How are you doing? (Part 2)

[Sparky]

My topics were deleted here.

1. Nobody answered my question.
2. The only responses I got were basically, "Aw, Sparky, you poor son of a bitch, that's so sad. Don't feel bad for yourself or us. We can feel sorry for you, but we don't want you to feel sorry for us, because that just makes us feel bad about ourselves." Nice double standards there, pro.
3. Aside from above said offenses, nobody cared enough to ask me how my said close family member or I are doing now.

Therefore.

Because you have all rejected everything I say and made difficult everything I desired to do here.
Because you have individually lacked the capability to show love even in the face of my poor situations.
Because you have not shown any value for life or listened when I painstakingly explained what value there actually is in life.
Because you systematically trolled all my posts, whether in General Discussion or the Halo Demo subforums.
Because not a single one of you argued FOR me or what I value -- which is life and the God of Life -- rather than against me.
Because you have only implied with everything you said that I should leave, even with the forced responses of "Oh Sparky we value you and what you do," and because those responses in their contexts could only mean that the only value you find in my presence here was that it allowed you to exercise abuse and bullying against me, pointedly.
Because nobody here has shown interest in even my most extensive projects like Zeus and Galaxy Wars.
Because I was patient with this forum and its visitors since the beginning of this forum.
Because despite my history and experience and expertise here I was still shown more respect by Halo Demo gamers than by my fellow MGM modders.
Because no, or less than minimal, administrative action was taken to alleviate the abuse I suffered on this forum except the deletion of my topics.
Because this forum has digressed into a troll festival.
Because I am now completely ignored by most of you.
Because I can no longer do any good here because of all previously said and more.

I, Sparky, quit MacGamingMods.com and its related communities.
HaloDemoMods.com will expire. You dumb fucks who don't know the difference between right and wrong can go steal it now.
All my Halo-related activities will cease. The ramifications are far greater than any of you realize, but you can thank only yourselves for having destroyed what I took years to envision and design.
Goodbye. And yes, I have taken periods of absence and breaks before.
But this time, I am not coming back. This is my last statement here. And you can delete this topic also, but what I said, I am now doing.

You all have no more part in my life. As you have rejected me and everything I do, so I reject you.
Irrefutably.

[nil]

My topics were deleted here.

Monoman does that when he thinks topics get out of hand. I don't like it either, but it happens.

1. Nobody answered my question.

Of how are we doing? Do you find it strange that we did not, given how you started out the thread?

2. The only responses I got were basically, "Aw, Sparky, you poor son of a bitch, that's so sad. Don't feel bad for yourself or us. We can feel sorry for you, but we don't want you to feel sorry for us, because that just makes us feel bad about ourselves." Nice double standards there, pro.

Again, don't you find this normal? Why would we have to be feeling bad? Why shouldn't we feel bad for you?

3. Aside from above said offenses, nobody cared enough to ask me how my said close family member or I are doing now.

Don't you think some of us hoped for the best? I don't know about others, but we don't talk on a regular basis, and your only presence to me has primarily been on these forums making it hard to do so.

Most of us didn't like the religious discussions, controversial philosophical discussion, what we are suppose to believe in, forced down our throat and cause frustration. Is that hard to understand?

Saying that no one cared about your mods, or projects, is much of an exaggeration, which is proved by reading posts on the forum and observing people having fun playing your mods in-game.

If you don't come back, goodbye Sparky. You have definitely contributed a good deal to the community, thank you for that.

[Kayar]

There is so much I could say. So much I would like to say. However, all of it... Every response I can think of. I have already said, many times. You think we bullied you? You think we trolled you? That we rejected you? You hardly gave us a chance to truly do any of that. You constantly put people down for disagreeing with your beliefs, often when they were only attempting to engage in logical, rational, reasonable discourse with you, you refused them and insulted them, and would not accept any belief but your own. You say we do not value life, when time and again, many of us have disagreed and proven otherwise, but you shoot those people down, as though only those that believe what you believe can truly value life at all. You insulted us, so we fought back. You pressed yourself upon us, threw yourself and your faith in our faces when we never asked for it.

I hate for it to end this way. I only ever attacked you here, in general discussion, because I wouldn't dare touch upon your work in HD. Your work was brilliant. You did great things. I never thought otherwise concerning your contributions. For months I have almost entirely avoided the HD section for various reasons, not the least of which being that they were filled with you, and I did not want our differences to get in the way of you continuing your work. I never wanted you to leave, and if I said as much, it was in ignorance and folly. I only wanted you to stop trying to change the rest of the forum. How has my day been? It may be too late, but let me answer you: Shitty. I feel I have not accomplished what I wanted to out of this college semester. I feel nothing but pain and sorrow for the children and their families who were involved in the recent shooting, and every time I think of the holidays I only think of kids not being able to have what the rest of us still have. I feel shitty because my one of my bosses has been hospitalized. I feel shitty because other work-related situations have been rough and hectic. I feel shitty because I too have a family member whose health I am unsure of. I feel shitty because you are leaving, or have left. You were Sparky. You were older. Wiser. You had skill. I admired you. Then, things changed. You still had that skill, and quite a bit of intelligence, yet that mind wandered. That mind found something, and latched onto it, I do not know why. The skill became skill at spinning circles of logic, the intelligence wasted on words from over a thousand years ago.

A friend of mine told me, that when I turn 23 or 24, I will be extremely happy, because the myelin sheathe will finish its growth and I will find myself more intelligent than I have ever been. He has been having problems for close to the past 2 years, and I have found myself comparing you to him many times. I see him alienating his friends, blaming them for things he has done, not getting along with people over trivial things, refusing to interact socially with his friends, or coming up with excuses not to. I don't consider that intelligence. I consider it idiocy. I feel shitty because I am 21 years of age, and I fear aging any further, because I see far too many so-called "adults" making terrible mistakes.

I can't help much of this, but one thing I can do is think positively. Yes, children have died, yes, it is horrible, but that event is an anomaly. We are not mass murdering each other every day, for the most part. Yes, in other parts of the world aside from the US, horrible things are happening. Here, however, we have it easy. Yes, I will grow older, I will likely become slightly more close-minded as I age, in many ways I almost feel I have already begun that path. But I will be older, more opportunities will open for me. Yes, my own family member may pass away or further lose touch with reality, but they are old, they have lived a good life, and I will remember them fondly. Yes, you are leaving, or have already left. In that, I find little solace, except that I don't have to argue over religion every week or so.

You could think positively. It requires a certain selective ignorance, selectively choosing to ignore that which saddens you. I do a piss-poor job of it, in my own opinion. But it works. Attempting to convince us of believing in Christianity depresses you. So why continue? That is what you are trying to do by leaving. That is a poor reason to leave, when you could instead drop religion and stay, as has been suggested previously.

Humans do horrible things. Some of the worst things we do, however, are done to ourselves, not each other.

Whatever you do next, Sparky, I wish you luck, and I hope that you find happiness, and rid yourself of melancholy.

[Monoman]

My topics were deleted here.

Monoman does that when he thinks topics get out of hand. I don't like it either, but it happens.

Nothing is deleted. I just hide the posts until everything calms down so I don't have to deal with new topics continuing from the previous topic or why was this post locked topics.

Now I'm not going to go over every item from this ragequit but I will respond to you shutting down HDM. I normally wouldn't get involved in how someone else runs their site as I know what it takes and the issues that come from it but I will make an exception here. With all your talk and plans for HDM and Blam! network, shutting them down because people don't like them or are not appreciating them just shows your lack of commitment to those sites in the first place. How is anyone remotely suppose to take the Blam! network serious if can't withstand negative feedback? If the opinion of someone else and not your own is what drives your projects then the projects were doomed from the start.

As I believe all people come to their senses after ragequitting and as this isn't a recurring theme your account will stay how you left it.

[Smythe]

Well.. someone is kinda mad.

Time and time again, we asked you to stop, yet every time you didn't listen. You just got more angry, more arrogant, more ignorant, more pushy with your beliefs. You can't expect us to just respect you for who you are, if you don't listen to anything we have to say to you.

This is purely your fault, and I for one don't care that you're gone. The work you did was fantastic, i respected the work you did for our community.

But this? this just shows you're as immature as ever. You don't deserve our sympathy. You don't deserve our respect.
You had earned both of these in the past, yet you just threw them away in a single post.


Goodbye, screw you, and i hope we never have to converse again.

[Sven]

Oh, ok. I see.

Sympathy? No. We are the ones who need to feel bad. For ourselves. Our morals are so fucked up. We can't even differentiate between right and wrong.

Right = Everything sparky believes in.

Wrong = EVERYONE ELSE

Fuck off, you bigoted thundercunt.
I tried to help. Hell, I even made a video and sent it to you. It showed you how much I tried to understand.

But no.

Instead of seeing reason, you decide that you need to throw your little temper tantrum and shut down your websites. I liked Halodemomods. So did everyone else here.
We don't want to discuss religion here and get everyone's panties in a twist. (At least I don't)
I like it when we are a functional community, but apparently you can't have that. We all need to conform to your ideals, and feel sorry for you when you alienate yourself from the rest of us.

Oh, and even though you're 'never posting again', I have one last thing to say.

FUCK. OFF.

[Dirk Gently]

Sparky, honestly I am rather disappointed to see you go.

I know I am not your favourite person on these forums, and that might go even more so a year or so ago. I might not agree with your religion or your projects or what you might think. However none of that really matters because you have made a huge difference in keeping this community alive. I had moved on from Halo 2-3 years ago, and I am still around to share what I know and try to be of some use where i can. We have clashed a number of times on our thoughts and opinions on topics.

Over the past 2 years I decided to back off these forums and let others take my place in the community. I decided that since I was no longer and active member in modding or playing the game, that I should let it fall to those that would carry the torch. I am sure anyone can dig up post after post of mine showing I am, at times, not the most friendly of people when it comes explaining what to do or voicing my opinion.

In more recent times, I have tried to repair that bridge that may have been burned down at some point over something I said or did to you. I tried to do this because I saw what you were doing as a truly great thing for this community. You have kept it alive and going for a very long time. For that you do have our respect and appreciation. As a community leader, you will be faced with this trash assailing you constantly. People not showing you the respect that they should for the work you do, or degrading you because they are children. I know full well this is hard work, and sometimes can really put a strain on a person.



So, I implore you, as someone that used to stand in similar shoes, please don't give up.

If you really want to discuss anything about this, then I would be more than willing to talk with you on the IRC at any time.

[a bullet]

Well I seem to have missed something.
I guess that means no easy access to backup b30 or bitmap files. I have no idea what went on, but goodbye.