Omegle chats

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey 16 m london u
You: me? ME? YOU ARE ASKING ME MY ASL? I AM THE FUCKING RULER OF THIS UNIVERSE, BOW BEFORE ME!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[kiddten]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: your dick is tiny
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

that was on video chat.
and yes they were wanking.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Please sir, will you do something for me?
You: Would you kindly eat your own ass?
You: And take a video of it while you do.
You: The country of Sweden would greatly appreciate this.
You: You will be doing yourself a great service sir.
You: Just think: Charles Gorgondy, first man to ever eat his own ass!
You: The media will be foaming at the mouth for you my friend.
You: Get back to me on Sunday, and tell me how it went.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hii
You: Why hello there Jonathan.
You: How are the cows?
You: Still mewling?
You: Jonathan, I want to tell you something.
You: It involves your sexuality.
Stranger: tell me
You: I believe the time has finally come when I must confess the truth.
You: Jonathan, you are a woman.
You: I didn't want to tell you until you were older.
Stranger: :D
You: We buried your ovaries under the hawthorne tree.
You: You can dig them up if you like.
You: I apologize for deceiving you for so long.
You: It was necessary.
Stranger: ok.. and you? are you a girl too?
You: Obviously not. I am Horace Wellings, great pioneer of the Antarctican frontier!
You: And your father.
Stranger: you are funny
You: No m'am, I am true.
You: I also have a penguin in my back pocket.
You: His name is Clarence, would you like to feed him?
Stranger: yes
You: No Clarence! Bad Clarence! Don't bite Jonathan's fake penis off!
You: I'm terribly sorry, he's not very well-trained.
Stranger: du bist dumm
Stranger: xDD
You: Sorry? Jonny, I do not speak Uranian, as you well know.
Stranger: this is german and means you are stupid
You: I have the mentality of Horace Wellings, great pioneer of the Antarctican frontier!
Stranger: do u find it bad that i am a girl?
You: We had to hide the fact, for fear that the vile Lord Channingway would hunt you down and take you for his bride.
Stranger: haha
You: And now I must depart, Jonathan, my job here is done. Fine Lord Channingway, and avenge the death of your dear mother!
You: Find*
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: your so stupid
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: :-*
You: So are you.
You have disconnected.

[tycob ty]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: NIGAHIGA
Stranger: ?
Stranger: asl?
You: finally meet u!
Stranger: father?
You: ya
You: LONG TIME NO SEE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sugarlumps]

My dear cousin, how many time have I told you? Funniness comes naturally, not self taught. Like Kayar. Use

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 <insert ur chat> [/ code] next time so it appears like this:
[code]Hi

>_> use your account. I will "lecture" you tomorrow when you come over.

On topic:

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how are you ?
You: You're now chatting with a random strangler, say bye!
You: I dont feel so good
You: not with this knife lodged in my stomach
Stranger: ok
You: what about you?
You: do you have a knife in your stomach too?
You: well in that case
Stranger: i am fine
You: we can be great friends!
Stranger: ok
You: yes, I know you got fined for crossing the road when it was still red light
You: Can i interest you in a bandage?
You: Or this cocktail
Stranger: no
You: In that case...
You have disconnected.

[Pielogist]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: hi.
Stranger: asl?
You: NO
You: I REFUSE
Stranger: at least tell me if ur m or f?
You: NO
Stranger: y??
You: because polar bears are left handed
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: eh man
Stranger: can ı ask ur asl
You: i'll tell you a secret
You: if you walk left
Stranger: tell
You: 20 meters
You: and turn 360 degrees on the spot
You: and walk 15 meters
You: and then hop 5 meters
You: YOU WILL BE WHERE YOU STARTED
You: OMFG
You: freaky right?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: SO IF I PRESS ESCAPE, THE CONNECTION WILL IMPLODE
You: COOL EH?
Connection imploded.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: so tell me
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: why are you depressed
Stranger: no iam not de...
You: is it because of the good deeds you've done?
You: or is it because everyone around you loves you?
You: because you have too much money?
You: or because you work too little?
You: well if you've answered 'yes' to at least one of the above
You: then the communist work force is for you!
You: we offer 24 hours straight work and no play
You: you can't see your loved ones at all
You: and you'll have to free time
You: plus, no money at all!
You: good deal, no?
You: only available in china, cambodia, soviet russia, north korea and other selected countries.
You: join us!
You: :D
You: PS. join or you're family goes.
You: good day!
You have disconnected.

[seabeast]

@Pie:
1. Soviet Russia no longer exists
2. 2nd to last message of the last convo: Your family goes.
3. 1st convo: Polar bears have no hands. Only paws.

[Pielogist]

@Pie:
1. Soviet Russia no longer exists
2. 2nd to last message of the last convo: Your family goes.
3. 1st convo: Polar bears have no hands. Only paws.

1. I know.
2. oops.
3. oh.

[Moxus]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HI'
Stranger: hi
You: How're you?
Stranger: fine thank u and u
You: I'm good
You: What's new?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: what country news do you want to hear
You: I'm already listening to the news
You: I meant what's new with you
Stranger: ..... nothing ..
Stranger: where r u from
You: Canada
Stranger: a s ?
You: Not going there
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Stranger: hi
You: Hiya
Stranger: asl?
You: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hiya
Stranger: Asl
You: No.
Stranger: Yes
You: No.
Stranger: M?
You: I'm not answering ASL
Stranger: Fag
You: Noob
Stranger: Ur a guy and u play bvideo games
Stranger: I CSM rell
You: Oh wow, we've got a real genius here
Stranger: Can
Stranger: Yes
You: So, why do you ask ASL? Why does it matter?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: O_O
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
You: How're you?
Stranger: im fine u
You: I'm good thanks
You: What's new?
Stranger: having a rest today
You: Mm
You: That's a good plan
Stranger: how about you
You: I've been chatting to someone from China, before that Halo 3
You: I'm going to be performing later on today, then going to a concert
You: So what brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: for a chat u
You: I'm a part of a message board where posting Omegle chats is a common practice
You: I didn't know what Omegle was, so I googled it, came here, and began chatting
Stranger: ok
Stranger: from
You: As in country>
You: ?*
Stranger: yes
You: Canada
You: Yourself?
Stranger: scotland
You: Awesome
Stranger: wharein canada
You: Newfoundland and Labrador
You: East coast
Stranger: i have been NOUFIE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-=Moxus=-

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OMG
You: HI
Stranger: hi, suggest a feature for omegle.
You: BOOBS
Stranger: already done, anything else?
You: LIES!
You: ALL I SEE IS DICKS!
You: DICKS EVERYWHERE!
You: ALL AROUNF ME
You: AROUND THE CORNERS
Stranger: wear boobglasses o.o
You: ALAS THEY DO NOT HELP MY PROBLEM
You: FOR ALL I SEE IS DICKS!
You: ALSO FAT GUYS
You: SO MANY FATTIES
You: *SHUDDERS*
Stranger: hah hah.
Stranger: well, that's one thing.
Stranger: Read this and prosper: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/No_girls_on_the_internet
You: I HAVE READ IT OVER 9000 TIMES DUDE......
Stranger: :D
You: caps lock is no longer on
Stranger: and didn't explode yet?
Stranger: btw, i remapped my caps lock.
You: well done
You: sparta is proud
Stranger: hah hah.
You: alas brother we must depart, i shall remember thee and post our text affair online
You: ....
You: ....
You: ...
Stranger: Statistics so far: 
Dragon: 10 lines and 254 characters
Stranger: 21 lines and 359 characters
conversation time: 4 minutes 4 seconds
Stranger: too few!
You: also you're pregnant.
You have disconnected.

[Moxus]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hey
You: How're you?
Stranger: good asl
You: I'd rather not
Stranger: why
You: I dislike the custom
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-=Moxus=-

[Turtle]

Epic bump for epicness!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Have you ever robbed a bank using only 3 litres of oil and a bar of soap?
Stranger: yes of course
You: Good, do you think you could do it agAIN?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: im also murder
You: Really, what an interesting combo
You: How do you murder your victims?
Stranger: yes..im very bad man
Stranger: i cut them
You: I prefer to hit my victims with pictures of the pope...
Stranger: it is good.. i should do it too
Stranger: like u
You: Yes, we could be A murderous double act...
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: and than we can fuck together
You: Well, that comes later...
Stranger: yees.. female or male?
You: Both
You: And your male, yes?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: wanna murder and fuck
You: yes, that is just excellent, I will pick you up via transcending space teleport...
You: At 5.38 am quadrallion time
You: Goodbye!
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You:Have you ever played a game of backgammon with a mushroom sellotaped to your head on the night of your daughters wedding?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you ever force fed a shotgun too a millipede in the hope that, in doing so, it would go on to write a gripping piece of science fiction in less than 300 words?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[kiddten]

not mine but funny as shit.

[Moxus]

1. Soviet Russia no longer exists

BLASPHEMY! SOVIET RUSSIA CAN NEVER BE DEFEATED!

SIC HIM KGB! SIC HIM! SIC HIM!

-=Moxus=-

[seabeast]

^Moxus, isn't it time the smiling guys in white jackets give you your medication and send you to the nice white cushy room?